Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Why is light given to a man whose way is hid?
I’ve always wanted to adopt some kids. Ever since I was little, I liked the idea. When I was a teenager, I read a newspaper article about a man who adopted 19 kids, all older kids that normally have trouble being placed in families. I cut it out and saved it.
When we got married, we decided we wanted to have two kids, and adopt two kids. Not babies, but slightly older kids. We ended up having three kids–Elijah was a surprise, and a really great one. But we’ve never been at a place where adoption is possible, and it’s looking like we’ll never get there.
I was thinking about it this morning. Why would I be born with this desire for something that will probably never be possible? (I haven’t given up on it completely, but it does seem like a long shot. I’m not even sure if I’m capable of being the mom that a special needs child would require. I don’t think I’ve done all that great of a job with the kids we already have, and they’re such easy, good kids.)
I started praying about it silently in my head as I was getting ready for work. I asked if there was a scripture I could read that would give me an answer. And I thought, Job 3.
Does a Job 3 even exist?
Job 3.
I thought, OK, I’ll look it up later, I’ve got to get to work. (Very typical of me.) But then I realized I hadn’t eaten yet, so I grabbed a bowl of cereal. As I sat down to eat it I thought, Read Job 3. So I looked it up and read while I ate.
Job 3 is several poetic verses, all cursing the day he was born. Good stuff. On and on, wishing he’d never been born. But then I got to this verse:
Why is light given to a man whose way is hid, and whom God hath hedged in?
And that’s what I’d been thinking about for days. Let’s say we never are able to adopt any kids. Then why have I had this strong desire to do so my whole life? I guess I’ll have to read the rest of Job, maybe there’s an answer in there.
I also loved the last verse of the chapter:
I was not in safety, neither had I rest, neither was I quiet;
yet trouble came.
Yet trouble came. Boy do I know that feeling!
